The Real Housewives of New York City Season-Premiere Recap: Grey Garden Party

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7 min read
fairly easy
Sometimes you just need some new blood to see how much we take the behavior of our favorite ladies for granted.
The Real Housewives of New York City Back in the Big Apple Season 13 Episode 1 Editor's Rating 3 stars * * * « Previous Next Photo: Courtesy of Bravo

The 13th season premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City (shouldn't we have skipped that unlucky number and gone right to 14 like a midtown-Manhattan high-rise Hilton?) handles the coronavirus in an almost oblique way. First, we see a picture of the city bustling, cafés bursting with people, and traffic snarling without Kelly Killoren Bensimon jogging through it. Then we see October 2020, when it's just still, all the bustle is gone, and everyone is wearing masks that say "Resting Bitch Face" on them and trying to pretend they didn't just experience a collective trauma. Maybe they didn't because most of the cast left the city as soon as the ambulances crowded the avenues, but that's another story.

As we're catching up with all our returning heroes, we alight on Luann de Lesseps, whose biggest problem with the new normal (not to be confused with the NeNe Leakes star vehicle The New Normal) is wearing masks. She describes them as a "fashion faux pas." Ugh. Seriously? I don't love masks either, and they can be a bother and totally screw up my aim when I'm standing at a public urinal. But I wear them because they are mandatory. Luann calling them a "fashion faux pas" insinuates that we're wearing them by choice as some sort of sartorial expression, rather than being forced to have them on our faces to, you know, stay the fuck alive. I'll be the first one to burn all of mine once herd immunity is reached, but for right now, can we not give people more reason to keep their lower heads as naked as a gaggle of Real Housewives in a Mexican villa's pool?

As we're checking in with all the women, we see Ramona in her kitchen with her ex-husband, Mario, a plate of fries someone is eating curbside that you just want to reach out and grab one from as you walk by. She seems very giggly, offering to cook him food any time…
Brian Moylan
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