A reader recently requested a chemistry lesson about bismuth. Why?? Beats me. It takes all kinds. Some people eat sweetbreads and some like nipple clamps. What follows may or may not be worse.
Anyhow, this should have been a Dreaded Chemistry Lesson From Hell,® a normally (but not always) popular feature where I get to demonstrate how much I know forgot about chemistry from my time in the lab. But it is not... Why is this not an official Dreaded Chemistry Lesson From Hell,®? I am rather disturbed to report that Steve and Irving, your hosts, are hiding in hell's basement for fear of being deported, even though they've been down there for 15,000 years. This brings up three thought-provoking questions: Why would anyone fear being deported from hell? What could be worse? Cleveland? Who would be looking for them down there? Can there possibly be a basement in hell? Seems far-fetched. Guess what? There is! And Steve and Irving sent me a selfie to prove it. And quite a surprise! Steve and Irving, both in a ridiculous disguise to hide their identities, are on the run from federal authorities. They have entered a deeper stage of hell. And they have company! Image: Wikimedia Commons Reader reactions to these lessons have been mixed... "You suck. Your chemistry sucks. And your lawnmower sucks." - Joe, a ball bearing salesman from Topeka, Kansas But there's this too... "I just LUV your chemestry lessons! And your really cute! xoxoxoxo" - Chrissie, an aspiring cuticle technologist from Venice Beach, CA But, for the most part, lost souls readers seem to like them, something that continues to baffle me years after I first tried this stupid idea. So, let's do one about bismuth, a…