The Last Revelation of Saint Al Gore and His Final Prophecy for America
pjmedia.com
5 min read
fairly easy
Jesus, Jacob, Joshua, Joseph, Jeremiah, Judah, Job, Joel, Jonathan, Josiah, Judas, Jude, Judith, Jonah — even cities like Jericho and Jerusalem. Sure are lots of "J" sounding names and words in the Bible. Advertisement It's kinda interesting, because there actually isn't a "J" sound in the Hebrew language. More often than not, it defaults to a "Y" sound. Speaking of "J," there's also quite a few Johns in the Bible: John the Baptist, John the Apostle, John Mark, John (father of Peter), and John of Patmos — the latter is credited as the author of the last book of the Bible, the Book of Revelation. That's Stephen King's favorite Bible book (I'd assume). It has all the spooky End Days imagery, like a galloping quartet of horses, Armageddon, and multi-headed beasts. Ever since the election of 2000, when that stubborn, dangling chad refused to fall their way, the Democratic Party has adopted its own version of Revelation, only theirs was authored by Saint Al Gore. And his magnus opus was "An Inconvenient Truth," which was released in 2006. Next year will be its 20th birthday, so ready your (recyclable) barf-bags for a yearlong celebration of such an important, groundbreaking, visionary film. It's a torrid tale of environmental destruction — dire prophecies about the oceans boiling, the people starving, and the entire planet frying to a crisp. The End is Nigh! Alas, Al Gore's prophecies didn't prove to be all that prophetic. Here's what he said about Florida and California: (I live in Tampa Bay. I promise you, my ocean view isn't this good.) His prediction about hurricanes growing stronger, bigger, and more frequent didn't age well, either. In fact, the number of hurricanes — and their intensity — has decreased. Advertisement This is the clip with the cute, adorable polar bear drowning to death because all the ice has melted. (Of course, there are still plenty of polar bears. Every Christmas, they drink Coca-Cola.): "Within the decade, there will be no more…